If i ask you today, 'what do you really want'? I am sure different people would have a different answer, but any answer you give me is likely to be in one of the following categories.
1. Health and preservation of life
2. Food
3. Sleep
4. sexual gratification
5. The well being of our children
6. life in the hereafter
7. Money and the things money can buy
8. A feeling of importance
Amongst these categories, the first few that are listed are likely to be satisfied in our everyday lives. Once they are satisfied, it no longer acts as a strong motivator, and the needs to satisfying the other categories will then become the strong motivator.
We can see a similar description on Maslow's hierarchy of needs model
At the top of this model (self actualization), can be related to one of my categories (A feeling of importance). This need is almost as deep, almost as imperious as the desire for food and sleep.
The desire for a feeling of importance is one of the most distinguishing factors to separate human kind from animals. Let me illustrate this further so that we can paint a clearer picture.
A friend of mine who is a keen organic gardener and recently has won a prize with a certificate on a contest to grow the largest onions. Now, when ever anyone visits him, he would proudly show off his products. Once you stepped into his living room, you just cannot help but to notice the frame that has been put up with the certificate inside.
Now as far as i am concerned, the big onion does not really care if it is prized or not, but its grower did. Because it made him feel good, and important. The same desire was there at the beginning of mankind (not growing extreme size onion!!). The same goes for people in the street wanting to follow the latest fashion, newest gadgets, recent release from their favorite band etc. We cannot deny that this desire is in each of us.
As time evolves, so does every part of our lives. Such as various political parties emerge, different taste of music and maybe how we like to dress. Either way, the diversity in our social life has sprung up a very individualistic culture.
We often hear debates and hear disagreements day in and day out of our lives, some people are so hungry for the feeling of importance that they would even go through criticism and rejection for it, some would go into insanity and some would even commit crimes to achieve where they want to be.
Now that we have a picture on how powerful and destructive this need can be, lets take a look at how positive and great this need can be from an opposite angle. Lets imagine, if someone can go through all the bad doings and even insanities to get this need of feeling important, what great thing they could achieve if you and I can give honest appreciation and encouragement on their side of the matter.
Many couples that have problems within their relationship, why not step back from being up at each other's necks, sit down and think what it would be like to be in their shoes for a while without putting your own feelings in.
Your staff is not following the safety procedure at work, rather then scold them, why not tell them it is made for their own safety.
An abstract artist showing you their pieces, rather then sneer at their work. Why not try to understand it.
In the film 'Shawshank redemption' quote 'Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies.' Then why do we like to criticize other so much and not putting in strength behind their hopes.
Start from today, lets put more positive thinking into each other. if you see a good deal, tell the others. If you feel you and your loved one are distant, show more appreciation in the things they do. If you are a young football player, I'm sure you would love to speak to your football idle on showing you how to get to be like them.
Feed some positive energy into each other and positive energy would be likely to bounce back.
